As this year draws swiftly towards an end, I realize somewhat to my amazement that my husband and I will soon celebrate our twenty-seventh wedding anniversary.  Our marriage has survived many ups and downs; including a cross-country move and raising two children, and somehow become a stronger relationship than we had in the beginning.  Of course, none of this happened without a lot of work, as well as a few angry words, and the occasional tear.  Over the years we have learned a few techniques that have helped us to stay close, and now I’d like to share them with you.

Talk to each other. In an age where many of us rarely put down our smart phones long enough to eat a meal, this simple advice is really not.  Couples need to communicate more than just through a text or tweet; they need to regularly discuss any number of subjects that affect them both.  Lack of meaningful communication can lead to misunderstandings, resentment, and frustration over problems that wouldn’t exist if a few simple words are shared.  Adding something such as a regular conversation over dinner or before bed can make a big difference in the attitudes both spouses have toward each other.

Do special things for each other.  Take time to “woo” your partner, not just with money or flowers, but by taking the time to be thoughtful.  Make your spouse’s coffee for them when they are running late in the morning or just because it will make them smile.  Pay them an unexpected compliment.  Place an online order for something you know they want but can’t seem to find in a local store.  Small, special acts of kindness can remind your spouse how much you care, and why they fell in love with you in the first place.

Date your spouse.  Any relationship needs nurturing to stay strong, and one of the best ways to do this is to make time to spend together.   Dating a potential partner draws two people closer in the beginning, and adhering to “dates” helps maintain that connection despite the craziness of everyday lives.

Scheduling a midweek lunch date or Saturday evening date night helps to maintain the relationship as a priority. Too often “adult” time falls by the wayside as couples are too busy or preoccupied with kids, household chores, and other commitments that require time and energy.  Couples need a chance to reconnect and simply be romantic partners, and not just mommy and daddy or two strangers who share a home and responsibilities.

While these tips cannot guarantee a couple will have a long, happy marriage, they can help address some of the issues that can commonly plague a relationship.  The best part is that they can be utilized by couples who are just dating, as well as those who have been married for decades like my husband and me.  But don’t take my word for it, try them out for yourself.

Thanks always for reading,

Amy