This is the time of year when many of us begin to think about New Year’s resolutions-“I’ll start my diet,” or “I’ll pay off my credit cards right after the holidays are over.”  But is the concept of making a resolution a good idea or not?  It really depends on the individual.

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In the best scenario, resolutions can translate into commitment.  Someone sets a goal with a genuine desire to take action, to better their lives in some way, and uses the January date as a deadline to act.  In this way, the concept of “resolution” is a genuine benefit, because this person chooses to make it so, at least in the short term.

Unfortunately, though, a resolution could simply become a means of putting off responsibility to working towards worthwhile goals-“I know I need to make this change, but instead of starting now, I’ll do it later.”  Of course, despite best intentions, sometimes “later” never comes.  We are left with an idea for change, for improvement, that never reaches fruition because it never became a reality.

Even if a resolution is made and begun in good faith, many of us tend to allow our motivation to falter over time.  Resolutions usually involve change, which we naturally resist if we are not consistently and continually conscious of our actions.  “To err is human,” is Alexander Pope’s famous quote, and that applies to each of us.  Without a great deal of determination and self-control, no good resolution will endure the test of time.

So with all the inherent problems in keeping them, is the act of making resolutions still worthwhile?  What strategies can help insure their success?

Resolutions can be a positive force for change, if they are embraced as such.  Don’t just decide you want to make a change.  Actually plan how you plan to accomplish your goal.  Do you want to lose weight?  What steps will you take?  Do you want to get out of debt?  What is your financial plan for the year?  Write it all out and place it where you will see it every day and can cross off one step at a time.

The best thing you can do to insure you succeed, other than planning, is to get support.  If possible, secure a support system to go along with your resolution.  The encouragement of loved ones will keep you moving toward your goals like nothing else.  Consider having a buddy to share your goal with, so you can commiserate, and triumph together.

So what lofty resolutions do I have for myself for the coming year?  I have a book that is undergoing revision, which will hopefully be coming out soon.  I want to continue to build the new career I’ve started for myself, which will require a stringent use of time management to balance work and home life.  I would like to spend more quality time with my husband, to travel, to work out more, to be more kind and gracious towards everyone I meet.

Wish me good luck on my resolutions, and I’ll do the same for you!

Amy

Probably like many of you, I’m running around half in panic mode thinking about all the things I have to accomplish in the next nineteen days (?) till the big holiday at the end of the month.   As I plan menus and check my stock of wrapping paper and Christmas cards, I can’t help but compare my own family’s festivities to those that I hear and see everywhere I turn-technicolor fantasies played out in holiday movies, and described in literally every song on certain radio stations. While I certainly hope I could describe our celebrations without resorting to tired old clichés that everyone has heard before, it’s hard to ignore the appeal of the familiar icons.

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I’m dreaming of a white Christmas.  Sure, snow is pretty to look at if you can stay at home, but it’s not very much fun to drive through in Cincinnati.  Not that we have much of the white stuff for Christmas anyway.  So far this month has actually been pretty gray and yucky here.  On the other hand, the movie White Christmas is one of my all-time favorites, which I have to talk my family into watching with me.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.  Okay, this reference is pretty vague.  Does this refer to the weather, or the fact that stores everywhere have had Christmas merchandise on display for a while, in some cases since before Halloween?  Or does it refer to the decorations our neighbors have lately placed on their house fronts and properties, or some other clue of the season? I guess this is a pretty personal declaration, intended to mean something different to everyone who hears it.

You better watch out, etc.  This one is something that I know I was as guilty of as every other parent-trying to curb my children’s behavior by threating them with a visit, or lack thereof, from Santa Claus.  Not that they ever believed me, the smarty pants.

He’s making a list.  Big deal.  I’ve never worried very much about being on someone else’s imaginary list.  I make lists all the time.  It’s the only way I can remember to get everything done and avoid driving myself crazy trying to remember everything.  There’s something therapeutic about crossing items off of a to-do list when Christmas shopping or planning a big family dinner.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year.  While this is certainly true for some, many others out there don’t share that opinion either because they do not celebrate the holiday, or because they lack the means to do so.  This is an especially important time of year to remember those less fortunate, and to find in our hearts the motivation to help those around us who are less fortunate.

Deck the halls.  I admit I have way too many Christmas decorations stored in our basement.  We’ve added to the collection every year, and after twenty-six years of marriage, my husband and I have accumulated so many decorations that every year we simply pick and choose which of them to put out.  Should we get rid of some of them?  Maybe, but that’s not happening until we can pawn some of them off on the kids.  After all, they have sentimental value.

Have yourselves a merry little Christmas.  To me that says a happy, quiet holiday, preferably at home, surrounded by family.  Again, this is probably something everyone has their own personal definition for, and many of us would rather think “bigger is better” and be set on topping last year’s celebrations.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course, but personally I would rather cut down on some of the hoopla and stress so I can actually enjoy the time with loved ones, rather than spending too much money or all my time in the kitchen.

However you choose to spend your holidays, make it personal, and spend it with those you cherish.  I can’t resist leaving you with one last cliché, though, “to all a goodnight.”

Amy

While traveling through my neighborhood this past weekend I noticed a number of my neighbors were beginning to decorate for the approaching holidays.  I saw at least three already had lights adorning the exterior of their houses, and one had a Christmas tree lit in their front window.  (Not to mention the one neighbor who still had a Halloween flag flying in front of their house.)  I can’t help but have mixed feelings over the exuberant displays, both because of the acknowledgement of the upcoming festivities, and how much technology has impacted the observance of those holidays:

Christmas cards.  Every year, we receive, and send, fewer and fewer greeting cards.  While it is easier, and probably more environmentally conscious to do so, I can’t help but think ecards, and Facebook updates hardly replace the effort and thought required to select or make and send an old-fashioned greeting.

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Shopping.  Black Friday shopping has changed our lives forever.  Instead of spending the day after Thanksgiving recovering from the “turkey coma,” many have made a tradition of rushing out early in the morning or sometimes even the evening of Thanksgiving itself to catch the best deals of the season.  Luckily, the Internet has made this much easier in recent years.  Instead of rushing out the door, it is much easier to find the perfect gift online, with a much larger selection and the best price.  Also, I definitely don’t miss is the long lines at the store.

Gift-giving.  I know the trend for many is to forego the ardors of finding the perfect gift for a hard-to-shop-for person, something many of those may actually prefer; to instead of a gift to purchase a gift card, available readily at any store or online.  This trend is easier for the giver, but requires a lot less time and thought that makes gift-giving special meaning.  It is especially convenient when you can send gift cards or gift certificates electronically to recipients to use online or print out at home, no stamp required.  Still, I personally prefer to see the look on someone’s face when I can deliver the gift in person.

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Decorating.  Decorations are one facet of the holidays that some people take to the extreme.  Whether you choose to go all natural with garlands and beribboned wreaths, or have multi-colored icicles hanging all year long, there are high tech gadgets that make things easier to do.  Many of us have traded the scent of real pine for the convenience of pre-lit trees, which are definitely safer and less messy, and can be recycled year after year.  I have my eye on a laser projector system this year that will allow us to light up the house with the appearance of falling snow or spinning circles, without having to pull out a ladder.

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Food.  We have more options available to us than ever before for our holiday feasts, from the most basic ingredients for time-honored recipes, to pre-prepared and convenient ready-to-eat meals, to food choices from cultures around the globe.  Some of us truly lack the time or fortitude to prepare a complete holiday meal from scratch, and that makes convenience options a double blessing for entertaining, especially when you can order them online and simply pick them up or in some cases have them shipped.  Whatever you choose to serve for your holiday, the value of the food should be secondary to those you are sharing it with.

Family.  This year we will be doing something we don’t manage every year, and indeed haven’t done for quite some time on my side of the family-we will be going to Grandma’s house for Thanksgiving.  So few of us are blessed to live close to extended family these days, as jobs, economic situations, and educational needs pull us farther and farther apart.  Not to mention, travel costs and fears about safety of highways and airways keep many of us from venturing out to share the holidays with loved ones.  Of course, thanks to modern tech like Skype, we still can “visit” with loved ones who are very far away.

No matter how we choose to celebrate the holidays, be it with old-fashioned traditions or new “high-tech” means, the most important part of any holiday is to celebrate in the spirit of the event the ones you call family, and the home of your hearts.  I hope your holidays are bright and blessed wherever you are, or how you choose to observe them.

Amy

This past weekend as my husband and I prepared to see the latest Marvel addition to their popular franchise (i.e. Dr. Strange); I took a moment to consider why we love action heroes so much.  I wondered if, when our ancestors told stories about legendary heroes, they experienced the same kind of excitement about them as we do ours today.  Did the heroes of myth generate the same type of devotion, of awe and admiration as do the stars of screen, sports, and comics in us?

The ancients developed heroes to explain natural phenomena, to recount legends based on true events handed down by word of mouth, and to personify the traits they valued the most.  Some of these heroes took the guise of “gods,” and some were mere mortals who challenged a variety of deities and monsters.

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Today we understand a lot more about the natural world, but we still wonder about things beyond our understanding.  We imagine bold explorers who venture beyond the realm of the known, and the pioneers that will meet the challenges of tomorrow.   Equally we find heroes in our present and past, as stories about Western heroes, soldiers, and triumphant athletes are just as popular as those that come from comic book pages.

After all, who doesn’t need a hero?  It is in our nature to seek someone we can emulate, who makes us feel safe and protected, and who inspires us to live up to our own best character attributes.  It is hardly a new trend to look for our heroes in a fictional setting either, because the heroes of fantasy can be far more perfect, powerful, and idealistic than we can reasonably expect in everyday life.

One thing we’ve carried much further than our ancestors ever could, though, related to our “heroes”- that is capitalization on their deeds and fame.   The ancients would have honored a hero with songs and a feast, perhaps a shrine or temple to commemorate their deeds.   Today we wear the hero’s face or emblem on a tee shirt.  We have action figures and trading cards, bedsheets and  Mattel^TM toys, books written for every age and literacy level, and hundreds or thousands of hours’ worth of digital video and sound showing and breaking down their every action.

Does all of this merchandise demonstrate reverence for our heroes, or is it just a way to spend more money?  I guess that’s for the individual to decide.

This week, I challenge you to examine your heroes, and the attributes that you admire in them.  What thoughts, or actions, does your hero inspire in you?  How will attempt to show that in your own life?

Just a thought,

Amy

My son had only been reading chapter books for about a year when Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (1999) was first released.  I didn’t know anything about the book at the time, except that it was a fantasy story that was quickly gaining in popularity and notoriety.  I was a big fan of fantasy and science fiction books as a child myself, so I wasn’t alarmed when he took an interest in what I soon learned was an entire series detailing the adventures of a young hero.  In fact, I was simply proud that my then eight year old was that interested in reading.  How soon my family discovered that a book series written for children would grow to become so much more…

It didn’t take long for the stories themselves to become a family activity.  I purchased the next two books for my son to encourage his enthusiasm, taking time to explore them myself.  After I discovered the fourth book, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, on tape, the saga of the young wizard quickly became a family affair.  My daughter, who is several years younger than my son, and my husband, eagerly listened to the recordings as the tales enchanted us all.

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After that, we were all thoroughly hooked on the whole “Harry Potter” world.  We found ourselves buying a family copy of the books, or two in some cases, and arguing who would read them first.  My husband and I were unbelievably proud that our children gobbled up five or six hundred page books like they were candy and went back for more.  We made family events out of going to the premieres for movies and my husband even took the kids to a midnight release of one of the books (not on a school night of course).

We enjoyed the books and the movies, but more important was the time we spent together as a family.  It drew us together; both types of media proved interesting enough and filled with enough subtext and complex plots to appeal to adults as well as kids.  As a family of growing kids and busy adults, it was a blessing to find something we all enjoyed and could share together.  Unfortunately, after seven books and eight movies, it appeared to be over.  By the time the last movie came out in 2011, the kids were all but grown.  We thought the era was over.

But then, J. K. Rowling decided she had more of this world to share.  This summer came new releases-a play, several books, and a new movie due out on the 17^th of this month.  The kids are grown, yes, but their interest, and ours, still hasn’t waned.  My daughter already put in her request for a Christmas gift, not surprisingly, a certain book.   We have plans to see the new movie, and hopefully, we’ll all be able to do so together.

Thank goodness for holidays from college, and work.  It’s time to feed our imaginations, and enjoy the fantasy again.  It’s time to reconnect with the heroes of one generation’s childhoods, while now four adults relive their own.

Thanks for reading,

Amy

It started as a response to fear.  In October of fifteen years ago, the nation was still reeling from the shock of terrorist activity in New York and Pennsylvania.  Parents were worried about letting their children out of the house for school, much less for such trivial things as trick-or-treating.  Should they allow fear of the unknown to dictate their actions, or take a stand?   Was keeping a sense of normalcy for their children important enough to risk allowing them out for time-honored traditions?

Many groups sponsored events as alternates to the usual activities.  Schools and church groups offered “Autumn/Harvest Celebrations” on the night of October 31^st to sway parents and children to safer venues than roaming the streets.  Some of these included “trunk-or-treating” in lit parking lots where large groups theoretically meant security.

It was in this atmosphere that my family chose to host a gathering of family as an alternate to allowing our children to go out.  We had decided that being cautious did not mean we could not have fun with our loved ones.  To our delight, it also became one of the best Halloweens we had ever celebrated.

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We lived in a small apartment at the time, but we used candlelight and a set of Halloween lights to the exclusion of all other sources to generate a spooky atmosphere.  Skeletons hung from doors, and bats from the ceiling.  We carved our own pumpkins, and set up the entire place to accommodate a group of various ages with games and fun.

Costumes were mandatory for anyone children, and encouraged for adults.  We played CDs of spooky sounds and seasonal playlists.  Watching my husband dance in the kitchen (the only portion of the apartment without carpet) to “Monster Mash” surrounded by small “monsters” was one of the highlights of the night.

We served treats straight from women’s magazines like mummy dogs and candy corn fudge.  Craft projects quieted the rambunctious cousins for a short time, before adults were pressed into service to hand out candy at every odd corner and doorway in the apartment.  By the time everyone was stuffed and reasonably worn out enough to enjoy a spooky story; we had realized we were having far more fun than just walking door to door.

That night was so successful we decided to make it our own tradition.   Eventually we moved to a bigger place, and were able to host a larger gathering, with separate activities for younger children and adults.  And though the gathering place and the guests changed, what remained the same was the fact that it was always a family activity, from decorating the house to choosing “spooky” dishes to make, from arguing over favorite candy to creating a cemetery in the front yard.

Our kids are grown now, and are usually too busy with work or school to celebrate Halloween.  We still spend time with each other when we can, and share a rich bond over the shared experiences of their childhoods.  After all, that was the entire point-to be together, and make memories that will last a lifetime.

I hope you and yours have a very Happy Halloween.

Amy

My Favorite Monsters

When the leaves start changing and the temperatures drop to a pleasant coolness; when the stores start displaying fall (and Christmas!) merchandise and numerous TV stations begin playing marathons of spine chillers, it’s then that I like to contemplate my favorite supernatural beings.  There are so many monsters of myth, legend, and modern day media, that it’s easy to find one suited to frighten each individual taste.  What all these spooky superstars have in common, though, is that we admire them for their ability to scare us, to make us want to sleep with the lights on, to cover our faces when they do their horrible deeds on camera.

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Numerous books have been written about localized monsters and regional legends, such as the Ohio Grassman and the Jersey Devil, but none of the creatures have achieved the fame, and the notoriety, of a few types of general supernatural monsters.  It’s these I want to focus on as I share my favorite few:

Vampires. I used to watch old vampire movies on Saturday afternoon when I was a kid, and ended up scaring myself quite a bit.  It didn’t matter that many of the earlier movies were in black and white, because it was not the blood itself that was scary, but the suspense that came with knowing the hero was being stalked by a killer that could enthrall and kill in equal measure.

Of course, vampires are more popular than ever, thanks to modern books and movie sensations such as the Twilight series, as well as Blade and Underworld.  While these supernatural creatures are portrayed in vastly different way by the different series, they all share an appreciation for these undead, immortal beings who exhibit some of the darkest and basest urges of humanity.  The vampire is a being that is seductive to the extreme, and yet it is a slave to its own urges, its desperate need for that which keeps us alive.

Mummies.  The mummy is a fictional monster unwittingly created by long-past civilizations in an attempt to find meaning in life and death.  The most famous are the Egyptian mummies, which Hollywood has exploited numerous times to bring horror, coupled with romance onto the big screen. Mummies are creepy in a whole different way than vampires.  They’re generally slower than vampires, and rarely speak, but the idea of a creature come back to life after decaying in a tomb for thousands of years, perhaps seeking a companion to return to the darkness, is terrifying in its own right.

I’ve always been partial to mummies as a horror character, and one of my all-time favorite movies is The Mummy (1999) starring Brendan Frasier and Rachel Weisz.  This particular movie mummy scared me tremendously the first time I saw it, but in watching the movie repeatedly I became inured to the “fright” aspect of the movie and was able to enjoy the plot, the humor, and the romantic elements this particular version contained.  In fact wrote a post back in April of this year entitled “Everything I Need to Know about Life I Learned from Watching The Mummy.”  Anyone interested can check out the link to that post here:

Everything I Need to Know About Life I Learned from Watching The Mummy

Zombies.  The once-mindless creatures of science and nature gone insane in “B” movies have come into their own with TV shows such as The Walking Dead and movies such as World War Z.  Zombies are in some ways are creepy than other monsters because anyone can become one, and unlike other types of scary monsters, they tend to overrun entire populations.  The concept of a mutant virus, either natural or manmade, that can turn anyone and everyone it infects into a mindless drone with only one instinctive urge, to eat human flesh, is in many ways the most horrifying fictional monster around.

I personally would rather become just about any other type of monster than a zombie, and I think it’s the one I would least like to encounter.  There’s nothing romantic or thrilling about being, or being pursued by a zombie, because they of all monsters lack the most in human traits.  They are simply reduced to one instinctive drive, and heaven help anyone in their way.  While they may retain in many ways the basic shape of humans, they are really a lower form of life.  Without the ability to think or reason they are more like a virus themselves than human.

What is your favorite monster?  There are so many others out there, and with Halloween right around the corner, it’s the perfect time to get reacquainted with old favorites and discover new ones.  If you’d like to share, send me your comments to the link on this page or my twitter account at the bottom.

As always,

Amy